Failure
by lookingforthestars
Summary: As far as Walter is concerned, there's nothing left to say.
1. Confront

**I want to write a fix-it fic. Eventually. But I'm not quite there. I wanted (still want) to see Walter stick up for himself a bit more. Y'all know I love Waige, but the stuff Paige said was terrible. So this is still a therapy fic, of sorts, for anyone who needed this like I did. It's just a one-shot for now, possibly could turn into a full fic, we shall see.**

He felt her walk into the garage before he saw her.

It was hard to describe, but he'd spent three years pretending that Paige entering the office every morning wasn't the highlight of his day. He would keep his focus on his computer, offering her a brief hello and a smile if he was feeling bold. Just enough to be polite, but far short of what he truly wanted.

But he always felt her. Felt the hair stand up on the back of his neck. Felt his heart thump. He never enjoyed the sensation, per se. It felt like cardiac arrest. But in the month since she'd quit, he had grown to miss it.

"Walter." She came to a stop in front of his desk, waiting for him to look up. He didn't.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a clipped tone that she would have reprimanded him for in any other context. But she wasn't his liaison anymore. She wasn't his anything anymore.

Paige sighed, resting her fingerprints gently on his laptop and pushing it closed. "I came to thank you," she said quietly. "You saved my life. The CDC said I would've been infected if you hadn't gotten me out of that room when you did."

Walter swallowed. Seeing Paige in danger had triggered an instinctual reaction. Just because she was no longer a part of his life didn't mean she deserved to lose hers. Ralph didn't deserve that.

Another case stolen by Team Centipede. It had been pure coincidence that the job Scorpion 2.0 was working intersected at a crucial juncture. Cabe called it fate. That was clearly nonsense.

"Walter," she said again, a little hesitant. The genius opened a file on his desk—some invoice she would have taken care of weeks ago, if she'd been around—to avoid meeting her eyes. He wasn't sure what he would see. Or what he might do. "Walter, don't make this difficult."

 _Sure, because everything is my fault. Always._ "You're welcome," he muttered, well aware of how utterly miserable he sounded. "There. You've said what you came to say."

She was quiet. The breaths he was taking weren't nearly enough to combat the tightness in his chest and he was desperate for her to walk away so he could regain some sense of equilibrium. This—her weaving in and out of his orbit—was somehow a thousand times more difficult than if she'd disappeared for good.

"I…" Paige trailed off, taking a moment before she started again. "I know things are bad, Walter. I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it yet. But I don't like this, either. Can you at least acknowledge that I'm grateful for what you did today? Because I am."

"It's been acknowledged. I don't know what else you want me to say."

Paige huffed out a sound of frustration, dropping her palms down on his desk. "God, if you hate me so much, why did you bother saving me at all?" she snapped.

Hated her? Did he really think he was acting this way because he hated her? "I'm not the one who left," he grumbled irritably, flexing his fingers against the edge of the folder. "You abandoned me, and you tried to take away the only thing I had left. Scorpion. I'd say you were the one who hates me."

"I wasn't trying to take away Scorpion."

"No, of course not. Just competing for all the same jobs. Attempting to drive us out of business. The difference is obvious."

"I was trying to protect Team Centipede. _My_ team," Paige bit out, crossing her arms. "And I don't hate you, Walter. I hate the way you treated me. I hate that I wasn't good enough for you."

"You weren't enough for me?" The file slipped out of his hands, all but forgotten, as he stood up abruptly. Paige stepped back, surprised by the outburst. "I have _never_ felt that way. You made it very clear I was the one who wasn't good enough. Pointed out my numerous shortcomings as a romantic partner in front of the team. Made it clear…" He sucked in a breath, embarrassed by the crack in his voice. "M-Made it clear that you were never happy with me. That you never loved me for who I was. Everything I am annoys you. And I can't do anything about that. I can't fix it. But don't act like this was about you not being enough for me."

"What the hell else am I supposed to think?" she argued, her volume rising on nearly every word. "Secretly going out with Florence? Lying to me about her? Acting shocked when she actually had feelings for you? For all I know you're already with her. I bet it happened the second I left."

"No. She…asked. But I don't have feelings for her and that was always the truth."

Paige shook her head. "Everything you've done says otherwise."

"Why was it so hard to believe that I loved you?" The words just tumbled from his mouth. He had nothing to lose anymore and the honesty was pouring out unencumbered. "I told you. I said something to you that I've never said to anyone else and it wasn't enough." Walter curled his lip under, suddenly aware that his hands were shaking. He pressed his nails into his palms, deep enough to leave marks. "You've walked out every time. When things got hard. I thought…I t-thought it would be different when you knew how I felt. It wasn't. So I don't know what you want now, Paige. I can't give it to you. Just like I apparently couldn't give you anything you wanted. Go home to Ralph and forget whatever happened today."

She stared at him for a long second, the expression in her eyes indecipherable. Her mouth opened and promptly shut before she spun around and stormed out of the garage. Yet again. Just as he'd expected.

Every time she left, it hurt a little less. Walter figured that was probably because there was a little less of him.


	2. Past and Present

**I'm continuing this! But I don't really have the time or energy for a long multi-chapter fic right now, so it'll probably be more of a 3-4 chapter story.**

"How was your trip to the garage?"

Paige lifted her head, startled. She hadn't told anyone where she was going when she left the office yesterday. How did he…

Never mind. It was futile to ask. "Fine," she said evenly, turning back to her laptop.

"Mm. So, not great then." Toby took an uninvited seat on the corner of her desk, fiddling with the pens in her ceramic cup. "It's been a month. I thought you guys would have worked things out by now, honestly."

Paige frowned, shooting him a scathing glare. "Well you're still working here, so it doesn't look like you've grabbed the olive branch either. What makes you think I want to work things out?"

"Nothing. Just, uh…" Toby shrugged. "The fact that we're competing for all the same jobs when we really don't have to. You going to the museums Walter frequents, which I'm sure is definitely not because you're hoping to run into him. The way you looked at him when he saved your life. Like I said. No reason."

She curled her hand into a fist, resisting the urge to shove the shrink right off her desk. Nope, they would all have to hear about his injured spleen. Not worth it. "Toby, it's none of your damn business, alright? There's no place in my life for Walter and vice versa. You should understand. You left too."

"Yeah, I still have my issues with 197. But he can afford to lose me."

The implication wasn't squandered on her. Paige considered letting it drop and ordering him back to work. But she couldn't stop herself from one last snide complaint. "Clearly I was expendable too. He never came after me, did he? Never even called." She swallowed, trying her hardest not to absorb the pain of that reality. "I tried to thank him for the CDC case. He didn't want to hear it. He made it pretty clear he has nothing left to say to me."

Toby placed his finger on the tip of a pen, pushing it around in a wide circle. "Can you blame him?" he asked, not meeting her eyes in a way that was clearly an annoying psychological tactic, although she couldn't figure out what it was supposed to accomplish. "If everything was reversed, if he'd said those things to you, would you try to win him back?"

 _You made it very clear that you were never happy with me. That you never loved me for who I was._

The worst part was that she'd lied. None of the things she said were untrue, particularly, but they were minor annoyances, not deal breakers. The things she loved about him eclipsed the things that bugged her, but in the moment, she just couldn't let him have the last word. Couldn't let him be the one to walk out with everything and leave her with nothing. So she struck first.

And she blew up his world.

"Damnit," she muttered.

* * *

 _You're not seriously considering this._

Paige took a deep breath, hesitating for a long second before she ripped off the Band-Aid and pressed his number. There were exact four rings before he answered. "Paige?"

"Drew." She swallowed, her mouth suddenly feeling like cotton. "Hi."

"Hey. What's up? Everything okay with Ralph?"

"Yeah. Yes." Paige traced her finger along the steering wheel, nervous energy coursing through her veins. No chance she was going to have this conversation in an office full of prying geniuses, but hiding in her car felt equally ridiculous. "Drew, I have to ask you something, and it's going to be uncomfortable for both of us."

He cleared his throat. "Uh…okay."

 _You can still turn back. It isn't too late. What if you don't want to hear what he has to say?_

"When we were together…" She bit her lip. "Why did you cheat on me?"

An interminably long pause ensued until Drew said, "What?"

Paige sighed, moving the phone to her other ear. "It was a million years ago. I'm not still mad, Drew, I just…need to understand. Please. It's important."

"Is this about O'Brien? Ralph told me you guys broke up."

"Yes. Maybe. I don't know. Will you just answer the question?"

Another silence. "Alright. Um…I guess I was…young. Selfish. I wasn't ready for the responsibility. I wasn't ready to grow up. I wasn't ready to take care of a family and all I really cared about was what I wanted in that exact moment. I didn't think about the consequences." He paused, and she could practically picture him shrugging on the other end of the line. "I just wasn't a good person then, Paige. It wasn't you. I wasn't ready for all of it."

She pressed her lips together, hot tears gathering in her eyes. She hadn't expected to cry. How could their history still make her cry after all this time? "You're wrong," she managed through a tight throat. "Tim met someone else in Jordan. He dumped me before he could cheat, but still. And Walter found someone too. Someone more like him. So I don't think it was just you. I think…I t-think it's me."

Paige inhaled raggedly, not even bothering to clear the moisture from her face as she leaned back into the seat. It was the first time she'd ever said it out loud. Maybe the first time she'd ever admitted it to herself.

She was the constant. Three completely different men that she'd opened her heart to had all found her lacking.

"No, Paige, it's not," Drew said, his voice softer. "At least it wasn't for me. There's nothing you could have done that would have changed things. If anything, I just knew you were too good for me and I didn't think I could live up to what you deserved. So I didn't even try." _Being around would have been a start._ But she hadn't called to dredge up all his mistakes, so she held her tongue. "Look, Ralph hated you dating the SEAL guy. He thought you were all wrong together. Personally, I doubt you ever had a chance of working out."

He wasn't necessarily mistaken about that.

"But I'm surprised about O'Brien. He doesn't strike me as the cheating type. Is he with someone else now?"

"No. At least, he told me he's not with her. But I don't know if I believe him." Paige leveraged the phone between her shoulder and ear, picking at a sharp edge on her thumbnail. "He brought a new woman onto the team. Sort of. They worked on projects together, and, uh…and went to this lecture together. He lied to me about it." Why was she unloading on Drew? She never told him about her personal life. She must have been desperate. "I found out and kind of…lost it. He never made me feel stupid before. But when we were finally together, it turned out I was just too average."

"That sounds…like the most boring affair ever." Paige laughed humorlessly. No one had ever accused Walter O'Brien of being too wild. "You're not average. Anything but. And hey, I don't have all the details so I could be way off base, but that sounds like a nerd partnership at best. What did he say when you confronted him?"

Paige shut her eyes, every second of their fight so fresh in her mind that it made her wince. "He insisted he never had feelings for her. And that he had no idea she had feelings for him. And then…" It was Paige's turn to shrug. "I don't know. I left. I just couldn't take the chance that he was lying to me like you always did." She cringed. "S-Sorry. I'm not trying to attack you."

"It's okay. I for sure lied. A lot. But I think the past is clouding your judgment here and you know that, which is why you called." She didn't respond. Was it so wrong to learn from her pain? To protect herself? To never want to be taken advantage of again? "Look, Ralph is miserable. If he's reaching out to me, then you know he feels like he doesn't have any other options. And if you were convinced of your decision, I don't think we would be having this conversation. So…I don't know, Paige. If you don't want to be with him, then don't be with him. Don't settle. But don't throw away something good either because my mistakes messed you up forever. You shouldn't be scarred because of me. I definitely wasn't worth that."


	3. The Other Woman

**Sorry for the wait. And the lack of reviews. There's a lot going on. I'm sure my fellow writers will understand this, but I have zero perspective on my writing right now. I have no idea if this chapter is any good. So…sorry if it isn't. And if it is, then awesome, let me know.**

 **I didn't plan for this story to be so much of Paige's perspective, but I guess of the two of them, she has a lot more to work through? There should be more Walter in the next chapter.**

Toby wasn't wrong.

She wasn't sure how he knew. Maybe Ralph had mentioned something. She'd have to have a stern talk with him about what he shared with the team.

Or maybe not. Advising someone to be selective with the truth was what started this mess in the first place.

Paige allowed the guard to scan her pass, feeling a familiar pang as she crossed the spacious lobby. Toby was right about her visiting the same museums she frequented with Walter, but he was wrong about the reason. She wasn't hoping to run into the genius. She never did. He probably avoided those places for the same reason she kept coming back.

But it was all she had left. Without unfettered access to the garage, this was the only place she could chase the memories. Feel close to him. She knew that was stupid. She was the one who left. The one who wanted nothing to do with him.

For a few days.

Once she'd finished crying her eyes out and calmed down, her first instinct had been to fix the crater she left behind. But she talked herself out of it, again and again. Because she would forgive him. If she stayed, if he apologized, she would have forgiven him for lying and then felt like an idiot when it happened again.

She sat on a bench in the middle of the main hall, staring ahead at everything and nothing. Each exhibit had its own story. The dinosaur hall where he'd lost himself in reciting facts to Ralph, one hand on her son's shoulder as the other rested on her waist. The gems she admired as Walter watched her, smiling at her enthusiasm. The sculpture garden where they stole kisses like two people who were stupidly, madly in love.

Despite whatever she'd said on that horrible night, life with Walter was rarely boring. Frustrating and confusing, sometimes. Strange, always. But it was also surprising. Fun. Fulfilling.

Now all of it was gone, and she felt nothing.

Happy had abandonment issues. Happy pushed people away. Happy had a million reasons to be suspicious of Toby, both because of his background and hers. So... _how?_ How had she maintained so much faith in her husband, even when she caught him kissing the ex he idolized? How did she trust him so completely? Cabe, too. He'd lost his wife, his daughter, how could he open himself up to Allie even after she betrayed him? How could Sylvester fall in love again after Megan slipped away so quickly?

Why couldn't she have the same faith in Walter? After everything they went through, everything he'd done for her, why couldn't she trust him when he said nothing was going on between him and Florence?

 _Why was it so hard to believe that I loved you?_

Something damp and hot hit her cheeks and Paige dipped her head, covering her face with her hair as she tried to pull herself together. Loved. Past tense. Maybe she was just a relic of history to him, like the bones and old tools in this stupid museum.

Maybe, deep down, she had always expected it to end like this. Collins took seconds to get under her skin because he wasn't telling her anything she didn't already believe. She and Walter were too different. She wasn't right for him. Someone like her couldn't hold his attention for long. When the novelty and craving died down, there wouldn't be enough left to build on.

Maybe she'd been so focused on leaving first that she never asked if he actually wanted to stay.

Oh god, what if her visit had been the final push toward Florence? The vivid image of them together stamped Paige's consciousness and made her stomach roil. The thought of Walter telling _any_ other woman the things he'd whispered to Paige late at night had her standing on shaky legs and breathing shallowly.

Because he was the love of her life. She'd told him a lot of things that weren't entirely true over the years, but that wasn't a lie. He was her family, Ralph's family, and she missed him so much more than she wanted to admit.

 _I don't know what you want now, Paige. I can't give it to you._

But he was done with her. She made her choice, and he made his. Paige couldn't risk crawling back to him now and getting rejected again…getting hurt again. She was resilient. But not that resilient.

* * *

"Thanks for meeting me. I'm sure…I know it was a weird request."

Florence shook her head, shifting in her seat as she crossed her legs. She looked exactly as uncomfortable as Paige felt. "N-No. I'm glad you reached out. I wanted to do the same, but I was unsure how receptive you would be."

"Not very, probably," Paige admitted, tapping her fingers against her cup as she fought the urge to occupy herself by taking a sip. Burning her mouth wouldn't make this any less awkward. "But I'd like to talk now, if that's okay."

She'd asked Drew the question she never wanted to ask, and found at least a measure of closure in his answer. Perhaps she could do the same with Florence. At the very least, their tentative friendship deserved a better ending.

The chemist cleared her throat. "May I start?" Paige nodded, and Florence sat up straighter, making eye contact a bit too directly. "I-I would like to apologize. Saying anything was a mistake. I wish I'd kept quiet. And…a-and I should have distanced myself from Walter when I started to develop feelings. It wasn't fair of me to seek his companionship when he was unaware of my interest. But he was telling the truth. Nothing ever happened between us." She swallowed, clasping her hands in her lap. "Okay. That's what I wanted to say."

She was so much like Walter. Paige would have found it endearing if those same similarities hadn't convinced her that Florence appealed to the part of him she couldn't touch. "I wish you had," she said quietly. "But there was another woman, once. Linda. Walter was dating her, and it didn't make a dent in the way I felt about him. It didn't stop me from making excuses to be around him. I can't pretend that I don't understand."

Florence was quiet for a long moment, fiddling with the string on her tea bag. "I told myself that it was okay. N-No one would be hurt because it was impossible for anything to come of it. I never meant…"

"I know." People rarely hurt the people they cared about on purpose. They just did, and found out afterward whether their relationships were strong enough to survive it. "But I wouldn't have left if I thought it was impossible."

A frown marred her face as she leaned forward, her voice sympathetic. "I always knew how he felt about you, Paige. Everyone does. It's hard to miss." She put her hands on the table and then in her lap, like she was unsure what to do with them. "Even when we were working on projects together, he talked about you constantly. I don't think he even realized it. H-He was trying not to bore you with genius stuff, but that doesn't mean you weren't still a part of it for him."

Paige pushed down the lump in her throat. It had been such a struggle to bring Walter into her world, and to find a way into his. But ultimately, didn't they just want the same thing? To be together? "I'm sorry. I'm sure this isn't easy for you to talk about either."

"It's okay. This isn't news to me. And…I-I don't know if any of this is helping, but I would like to. Help."

Paige sighed. "I don't know if anything will help. But thank you."

"Of course." Florence nodded, hesitating before she added, "I-It's not a bad thing. Finding someone who is different. W-Who rounds out the world for you and makes you feel…complete. That's special. It's not an obstacle to overcome."

 _Complete._ She supposed that was a good word for what she felt with Walter. A piece she didn't realize was missing until she found it. But that didn't mean she made him feel the same. "You fell for someone just like you."

"Yes. But just because you have feelings for someone doesn't mean they are what you need." Florence didn't wait for Paige to respond before she pushed her chair back slightly, securing the lid on her tea. "I s-should go. I have a meeting in twenty minutes, and I need to—."

"No, I get it." Paige stayed in place as Florence stood up. Under normal circumstances, this would be the appropriate time to initiate a hug, but they weren't quite at that point and Florence wasn't a hugger anyway. "Thank you. For coming."

The chemist pressed her lips together, lingering for a second. "Paige, I know we aren't friends right now, but I hope…one day."

She couldn't promise anything. But she wasn't sixteen anymore. Ruining a friendship over a man seemed like a waste. "Yeah. I hope so too."


	4. Regret

_Don't be afraid of who you are. You're not your brain. You are your heart._

For a second, seeing Megan's face on screen, it was like she hadn't gone anywhere. She'd always been larger than life, anyway. Larger than this life. Her illness was random, of course. A genetic curse that could have easily struck him or anyone else. But occasionally—when he was allowing his thoughts to wander to something less concrete—he wondered if maybe his sister had just been too much, too _good_ , for the confines of this universe.

 _And there are people in this world that love you so much. Walter, don't be afraid to love. I just want you to be as happy as I am._

That was easy for her to say, wasn't it? Sylvester loved her unconditionally until the end. He never saw her limitations, only her strengths. Then again, Megan was infinitely more lovable than he was.

 _I love you. Thank you. Thank you for being my brother._

Walter snapped the laptop closed, his knuckles nearly white as he clutched the edges. He didn't believe in rituals, but watching this on the anniversary of her death could be considered one. It was mostly out of necessity. He'd never been the sentimental type, and now that she was gone, he lamented the lack of mementos to remember her by. The video and her bracelet were about all that was left.

 _Don't be afraid to love._ He was finally looking forward to telling Megan—if there was any possible way for her to hear it—that he'd done what she asked. Overcome his fear and opened himself up to love. Found the kind of happiness he saw her experience with Sylvester.

But he couldn't. Not anymore. Walter had spent years building a family, with Ralph, with Paige, with Scorpion, only to lose it all with one mistake. Perhaps love was reserved for people like Megan. People who understood how to accept and return it.

He wished he'd never held Paige's hand that night. He wished he had never followed her to Tahoe. He wished he never admitted his feelings to her. If he hadn't reciprocated, Paige would have moved on quickly enough. Found someone more suitable. But he never would. Walter relied on data, evidence, and he had no evidence thus far that he was capable of falling in love with anyone but her. When she was next to him, her head on his shoulder, her bare skin pressed against his...he didn't have a name for that feeling. She was part of him. The odds of him stumbling onto that again were astronomical. That kind of lightning only struck once.

Walter shook his head, half-tossing the laptop onto his coffee table. This was Megan's day. He should be remembering her, not dwelling on the mess his life had become without her.

"Hey. Thought I would find you up here," Cabe said as he peeked his head around the doorframe. "Mind if I join you?"

The genius nodded, grateful for once to have his thoughts interrupted. "You didn't have to come in. I told you there were no jobs today."

"I know. Just thought you might want company. Today being…you know."

He hadn't realized that Cabe recalled the date. Then again, the agent had always kept tabs on Walter's life as much as any father would. "Okay."

Cabe took a seat next to him on the couch, kicking his feet up on the table. Walter mirrored him, both men staring ahead absently until Cabe broke the comfortable silence. "You know I'm here for you, kid," he started, sounding uncertain. "But if there's someone you need here…more…it's okay to ask for that. Sometimes, on a day like today, when it's rough, you just want…"

Despite the older man's rambling, Walter knew what he was hinting at. But she wouldn't come, and he already had enough pain to contend with for one day. "You're enough." He looked over at Cabe, offering him a tight-lipped smile. "Thank you. For sticking around."

 _Not just today. Thank you for being the only person who stayed._

The agent seemed to understand the subtext and nodded, his expression softening. "Of course, son." He swallowed, and Walter turned his attention back to the wall, knowing after all these years that there was a _but_ coming. "But don't give up hope on everyone else. They'll come around. They just need time."

The genius grimaced, deeply uninterested in the turn their conversation was taking. Cabe attempted to bring it up at least once a week, but Walter was always able to deflect with some urgent assignment. Until now. "It's been forty-eight days. Plenty of time for them to reach out if they wanted to. They don't want to."

"Paige did."

Walter stiffened. How did Cabe even know about her visit to the garage? At any rate, it had been more than two weeks since their argument after the CDC case, and she remained radio silent. He had advised her to forget everything that happened that day and it seemed she listened. "That conversation was unproductive at best."

Cabe raised an eyebrow. If he knew the details, then he already knew Walter had been a jerk, but even if he didn't, he could probably guess. "You two will figure it out. I have to believe that."

"There's nothing to figure out," he said a little more petulantly than he intended. "I know how I feel. And I know how she feels."

"Come on, kid. I know she still l—."

"D-Don't. Just…don't." He tipped his head back against the couch, shutting his eyes. "I know you're trying to be helpful. B-But that isn't."

He didn't know if Paige still loved him. He didn't know if she'd ever loved him, or if she had just convinced herself of it because he felt so strongly for her. But Walter wasn't sure which option was worse: that he couldn't make her happy even when she was in love with him, or that she finally realized her feelings weren't strong enough to warrant the effort.

Cabe's optimism was misplaced. As much as Walter loathed the idea of Paige building a life with someone else, he didn't have the power to change it. Perhaps accepting her apology without a fight would have helped, but he'd meant everything he said. He loved her. And it wasn't enough.

"Sorry," the agent said softly, letting out a heavy sigh. "What do you say we just talk about Megan? Tell me some stories from when you were kids."

Walter relaxed. He could do that. There were a lot of things he wanted to forget, but Megan wasn't one of them. "This one time…"


	5. Here With Me

**Oof. Well, I'm gonna deal with my sad the best way I know how—by finishing this fic. I'd always planned to keep it short and focus on Waige. Other writers are doing an excellent job of tackling the whole team's angst, so please read and support their stories too! I promise to write more fix-it fics in the next few weeks, when I can. Thanks for following this story, please review and let me know what you thought. :)**

"Cabe, I need…" Walter trailed off when he reached the bottom of the stairs and realized that the entry he'd heard a few minutes earlier was not, in fact, Cabe. Or Florence. Or Jonah, the intern who filed paperwork and made calls for the team twice a week. "Hello."

"Hi." Paige shifted nervously, wrapping one arm around herself and tucking hair behind her ear with her other hand. Her purse was on the desk—the one that would have been most advantageous for the chemist, but that he opted to use for storage instead—and she looked tired, although he knew better than to say so. "I knocked. No one answered."

"Knocking was inefficient. You obviously remembered the codes."

She stared at him curiously. He didn't know why he said that. Logically, he shouldn't have wanted her wandering inside more than any random person off the street. This wasn't her office anymore. This wasn't her home anymore.

He cleared his throat, mentally resetting. "Can I help you with something?"

Paige looked a little stung by his icy tone, but she recovered quickly, pressing her lips together. "Cabe called me," she explained, clearly picking up on a change in his expression because she added, "Don't be mad. I wanted to come. I just…didn't know if you would want to see me."

Walter knew the agent had faith in their ability to move past their differences, but he'd conveniently left out the fact that he and Paige were in communication. That was probably how he knew about her first visit. And when Walter had declined to call her on the anniversary of Megan's death, Cabe must have deduced that his pride was getting in the way.

Which wasn't entirely untrue. "I don't know either."

"I don't blame you." She nodded, quiet for a moment. "I can't force you to talk to me, Walter. God knows I didn't give you the chance before. But I'm finally ready. So we can talk now. Or I can come back. Or you can call me, and I promise I'll pick up. Whenever."

She looked…hopeful? At least, much calmer than she'd been the night she left. All he wanted to do then was take her upstairs and explain to her that Florence was a friend, that their night meant nothing, that he was so in love with her there was no room to feel anything for anyone else. But she didn't trust him enough even to listen. What would be different this time?

"Y-You can't just show up out of the blue and decide things are okay. You hurt me too."

"I know." Until the words left her lips, Walter hadn't realized how badly he needed to hear her acknowledge it. He was tired of feeling like the responsibility for this mess was entirely on his shoulders. "And if we could talk about what happened without me attacking you, or storming out, would you want to?"

His self-preservation instinct was practically screaming at him to turn her away, maintain the excruciating distance between them. But logic reminded him that if they didn't have a conversation now, they would just continue fighting, over and over, which was as inefficient as it was painful.

And his EQ…well, that always voted in favor of whatever kept Paige the closest.

Walter nodded, choosing not to say anything, and she took that as her cue to forge ahead. "I said some genuinely horrible things that night. If you'd said them to me…" Paige sighed, tilting her head up, looking anywhere but at him. "I wish I had a better excuse. I'm just screwed up, I guess. I thought I'd worked through everything, because it's been years, and my life has changed so much. But at the first sign of trouble, it just all came rushing back. I felt stupid for trusting someone… _anyone_ …again."

"I didn't—." Walter heard the sharpness in his voice and took a breath. She was doing her best to stay calm, and if he wanted to prove that he wasn't an emotional child, he needed to do the same. "Nothing happened. I never wanted anything to happen. I did lie, but not about that."

"I know. Florence told me." The genius's eyes widened at the mention of the chemist's name. Why…how? "I've been doing a lot of searching since the last time I was here. I guess I was doing what you would do. Gathering facts to reach the right conclusion." Paige traced her fingers lightly over her desk, tapping them on the corner. "The truth is that you might be the best person I've ever met, Walter. You were the last person I thought would cheat. And if you were with another woman…" She blinked, fighting to keep her emotions at bay. "Then it was just me. I was the one who worked so hard and still wasn't enough. I couldn't handle feeling that way again."

 _Neither could I. But it didn't stop you from telling me I wasn't satisfactory._

He didn't say that. Because even though he knew Paige had insecurities, he'd never understood that they were practically identical to his. The fear and uncertainty written on her face wasn't hard to recognize.

"I wasn't going to leave." Walter swallowed. "E-Ever."

Paige shrugged weakly. "You've rejected me before. Chosen other women over me before. I had no way to be sure this would be different."

He couldn't refute her statement. He had pulled away from her, sought safety in relationships that posed less risk, but he regretted that immensely now. How had he never seen that it hurt her so much? "It was. Different. For me."

"Cards on the table, Walter. Does it bother you that I'm not a genius? That I don't enjoy going to lectures with you and talking about science twenty-four seven?"

He hesitated, not because he didn't know the answer, but because he wanted to say the right thing, just once in his life. "Yes," he admitted, wincing at her wounded expression. But lying hadn't been the answer before and it wasn't now. "I wish we had more in common. And it was nice to go with someone who was excited about the lecture, but I would have skipped it and g-gone to listen to music with you a hundred times over if I had realized that the alternative was losing you."

Paige pressed her hand over her mouth, letting out a harsh breath. Her eyes were glassy and it tore at him, but it wasn't any more painful than her absence had been. "I wish that you had been more open to that, too. But I don't hate the way you are. And I'm sorry that I made it sound like I did. If nothing else, I just really needed you to hear that."

"T-Thank you." He stepped forward tentatively, the gap between them beginning to feel less protective and more isolating. "What happens now?"

He wasn't entirely sure what answer he was hoping for. Walter only knew that something with Paige—even friendship—was better than nothing at all. That realization was as old as their first fight.

"I don't know." Paige paused, seeming deep in thought, and he suspected that she had been debating with herself when she said, "I still love you, Walter. I always have. I'm not sure what that means for us, but it feels stupid to pretend it's not true."

Walter was almost embarrassed by how much his legs went weak and his chest tightened. Love wasn't enough to hold a relationship together, on its own, but it was certainly a good start. And they knew where they went wrong the first time. Perhaps they could evolve and continue fighting extinction a little longer.

He lifted his arms, in a way that he could play off if she didn't pick up on it, but he was thankful when Paige leaned in, wrapping her arms around his waist as his cradled her back. She dropped her head onto his shoulder, her heartbeat steady and comforting against his chest. Walter slid one hand up, stroking his fingers over her hair. "I still love you too. But I c-can't spend every second worrying that anything I say or do will make you leave, Paige."

"I know. I'm working on it," she murmured, her voice muffled by his shirt. She shifted her head, allowing Walter to rest his cheek against her hair. Even with all their baggage, there was no denying how good this felt. "Just remember that even when I leave, I always come back."


End file.
